My Boys! What Would I Do Without Them?

The Sibling Restitution Act of 2004: In The House of Greatness (that would be our home) we shall love one another with all our hearts. We shall respect one another with all that is in us. We shall show one another that love and respect outwardly on a regular basis and never do anything to harm another person living in our home. BUT, if we do... the family member that has inflicted said harm will, upon judgement by Mommy or Daddy, then hold an "I owe you" to be used at whatever chosen time that the harmee chooses to turn in his/her "you owe me". When sibling who has the "you owe me" is told to do something or chooses not to do a particular assigned chore, he/she may then look at the person who "owes" him and say only "you owe me, pay up". There will then be no arguing by the "I owe you" sibling and the job will be done immediately with no grumbling.

The "you owe me" may be held onto for an indefinite amount of time before being cashed in, but if in the meantime you do something so that you suddenly have an "I owe you" on your own name, the slate is wiped totally clean and no one owes anyone anything.


"Sibling Restitution" works great in our house. Bee is just now getting big enough to be able to do some of the things that are asked of the boys though, so she's just now getting in on it. Up until now, our "sibling restitution" law has always been used when one sibling hurt the other physically. Well, we got to use it in another manner tonight...

Each evening the boys bring home their "nightly writing" notebooks to write something in. Our rule is that you do your homework and put it right back into your backpack so all you have to do is grab your backpack and walk out the door the next morning. Sounds great, right? Well, with one child it works wonderful. Phrophet is a very responsible young man and always does his jobs just as he's supposed to do them. D.K. on the other hand is practicing to be an alien living somewhere in outerspace. (and may I add that he's doin' a mighty fine job of it too) Even though we have lists of what needs to be accomplished at any given time of the day, which you'd think would help to coordinate his brain a little bit, he's been known to do things from the morning list at 8:42 at night. Ugh! I'm at my wits end with the child. So, this evening when he starts looking for his "nightly writing" notebook and it's nowhere to be found, I was finding very difficult to have any compassion for him. Afterall, if he'd simply "done the list", it would've been in his backpack. Daddy and I tell him to prepare himself to flip his card to yellow at school tomorrow. He looked all over the house and was beginning to have a full-on panic attack... walking circles, holding onto his head, tears aflowing like a river! I have to admit I then started feeling bad for him. I even actually helped him look. It seemed that the blasted homework fairies had struck our house. As we say in our house regularly, "those cotton-pickin' fairies!" Anyway, we then went upstairs (again) to look. Prophet was laying in his bed reading a book (the dictionary no less, yes my boys are a tad odd). As D.K. is still having his little attack, it finally seems that Prophet picks up what is going on. WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR AN HOUR AT LEAST BY THIS TIME! Prophet says, "I know where it's at" and goes running downstairs! Sixty seconds later he reappears with the infamous yellow notebook in his sticky, little fingers! Where was it? Well, I'm glad you asked because so did we! "Behind the couch", he says with the kind of grin that makes you want to wring his sweet, little blond neck! I of course reply with, "How did you know it was there?" Oh, yes, all my smart blog readers have already skipped ahead in this story.... "I put it there." So at this point, his little butt is in big ole' trouble. We tell him that D.K. has been looking for it for an hour, and has been crying and totally a mess thinking he was going to be killed at school tomorrow!!! (yes, I know that's a total exag., but he hates to be in trouble at all) Prophet suddenly realizes that he hurt his brother, his best-friend in the world. Daddy takes him aside and talks to him for about two minutes!! When he comes back into the bedroom, he burst into tears and runs over to Jacob and wraps his arms around him and holds on for dear life while he sobs into his little brother's chest, telling him how sorry he is for hurting him and begging him to forgive him. D.K. totally forgot about the revenge he was beginnig to plot in his skull and starts telling him that he loves him and forgives him. So, you think the story should end here, but oh no, it's still going...

Prophet now can't get a grip on himself. He lays there with his face plastered in his pillow just sobbing his blue eyes out. I went over and layed on the bed with him and he put his face in my chest and just cried and cried. I finally said , "Prophet, it's okay, he forgives you, it's done!" He replies, "But Mommy, I just feel so guilty." "Well, Bud, would you feel better if D.K. got some kind of restitution?" "Yes, I actually would." Yes, all you mothers are thinking my child has lost his mind if he is actually wanting his brother to have restitution for his wrong doing. So I say, "How about he has a "you owe me"?"

So, there you have it, our first "you owe me" gotten with no physical pain involved between brothers. I'm sure as they get older there will be more and more of these earned and used between. As I sit here and type, they've been in bed for 35 minutes and they still haven't quit talking. They love each other. They share everything. Most importantly, everything is once again right in their worlds. I'm glad.