Monday, April 30, 2007

Let's Have a Pitty Party for Grace

I went to the surgeon down in Indy again this afternoon. She removed the drains. It hurt like crazy and after a few stitches Smart Guy's arm was pretty much back to normal. He pulled a chair over by the table so he was sitting eye-level with me while they cut the stitches, YANKED them out, and then again YANKED out the drains. He put his arms and hands on the table for me to do whatever I needed to do with them. I started out just doing some major squeezing, then I started blowing "raspberries" on his arm for distraction, and then he actually said, "if you need to bite my arm, go ahead." As tempting as it was, I refrained for his sake. So no, he didn't actually have to have stitches, but I wouldn't be suprised if his arms and hands are sore tomorrow.

Great news! The setons (new and proper spelling) hanging from my bahooney will be staying in and being flossed twice daily indefinitely. My doc said she's got patients who have had them for over a year just to be sure that the abscess doesn't fill up and get infected all over again. Lovely, just what I wanted to hear. Oh well, at least the drains are out and the pain has diminished somewhat. Doc said after another month or so of healing, it shouldn't hardly hurt at all to floss. For now, I"m still taking the pain pills an hour or so before hand. Fortunately since I only have to do it twice a day now, I'll get up early, take the pill, go back to sleep, get up, floss,, and hopefully have the meds wear off by mid-morning. Then in the evening, I'll do it all after the kids are in bed. So, that should be an improvement in hopefully beginning to get my life back little by little. I can sit a little better, now that the drains are gone, that's really a good thing.

I came across the video of Inkling and H.D.'s wedding a couple nights ago. I hadn't watched it since that day when Bee was watching it in the hotel. It made me so homesick for her and Ruby. That was also the last time I saw Ruby and her family. Of course Ruby now has an extra family member I have yet to see. I wish I would get better so I could hop on a train or plain and go see them. I want my friends right now. I can't wait to see Inkling in June, I'm counting the days!

To Lauren

Hey, I just want to let you know that I can't read your blog or comment right now. Everytime I get on your site, my computer freezes and shuts down. I'm thinking it might be because the older computer I'm using right now doesn't have the power for all the fancy music stuff you've got in your sidebar now.... but then again, what do I know. So, I'm not ignoring you, just can't get to you! I miss you!

For Crying Out Loud

Okay, so I was back over reading recent "signatures" on the Mom's for Modesty campaign, and I found this. I really need to just stop reading them because while most of the comments are simply saying they agree, the ones that show judgement on other people are the ones that always stick out to me. Unfortunately this women just signed with her name, so I can't get to a blog of hers or anything. Read this, especially the last line...

"Thanks for starting the brushfire. I have 2 girls, and we’ve been raising them with God’s standards from the beginning. I’ll never forget when my oldest commented that a 2-peice bikini was “immodest” and that she would never wear it - when she was 3! We can make a difference when we properly educate others, including the retailers of the current pedaphile-pleasing junk passed off as clothing. Too bad my girl’s friend up the road has come under the culture’s influence, but then again, she’s not homeschooled."

Come on. Yep, that's it guys, apparently if we don't homeschool our children, we have no influence upon their lives at all. Give me a break. I have nothing against homeschooling, we have/are considering for own family, but I can promise that I would never have that judgemental thing going on or think myself better for doing it. Once again it saddens me to hear this kind of thing said.

Thursday, April 26, 2007


*I just hit publish on this post this morning, Sunday, but I've started it several days ago.

The sky looks like it's gonna open-up any second now. They're saying we could get wind, thunder, lightening, rain, and hail. I can the thunder and it's starting to sprinkle as I'm typing. I love a good storm.

Well, I've been wanting to share with you guys some of the specifics of what's actually going on with my crohns right now. I know you know I've had surgery twice and that I'm out of remission, but other than a couple of you that I've told personally that's really all you know, so here it is...

I have what is called a perirectal abscess. Which means it is located internally between my rectum and my vagina. Because of the infection, these can be fatal if not taken care of proper time or properly. Thankfully I got into surgery in time both times. Here's hoping there won't be another one.

Basically the first time they did the surgery, they drained both sides of the abscess and left long drain tubes in overnight. They removed them the next morning, which was the most incredible pain I've ever felt. The abscess continued draining slightly thru the holes that were cut for the drain tubes. The pain got much better as it drained. I could feel externally that the abscess was shrinking and appeared from the touch to be about the size of the tip of my pinky finger.

Then last Thursday morning when I got up, the pain was back. It was still draining, but not as much and the abscess was externally hot, hard, and tripled in size from the day before. I called the dr. and they said to keep and eye on it, make sure it was still draining, take lots of baths, and watch for a fever. That evening I started running a fever. I called first thing the next morning and they had me come back in. After they examined me, they told me to head back over to the hospital because they were going to redo the surgery, but leave the drains in long-term this time. When he did the second surgery, he also put "C-tons" in place this time. C-tons are basically black strings that are place into my rectum, passed thru the abscess, down thru the same opening as the drains, and then the ends are tied together forming a loop. I have a drain and a c-ton on each side.

Here's the part I need specific prayers for. I know I should have gotten this out days ago, but it's just hard to write about. Four to five times a day, I have to take a sitz bath and then "floss" the c-tons. For those of you who already have a visual, yep it's that bad. Basically I have to pull those loops from each end to prevent build-up from forming in the abscess again. It's not fun and it really hurts. There's a reason that God made us so we don't want to inflict pain upon ourselves. It's very hard for me to push past that and actually do something that I know is going to hurt. Tomorrow the dr. will take out the drains, so I'm hoping that maybe the c-tons won't be so difficult to move since they won't be sharing space with something else.

Please pray, I know you are, that I have patience with all of this. I feel like all I'm doing is taking baths and "flossing". What a life!

Anyway, thanks for being there for me and praying! I love you guys! Sorry if this was TMI, but I warned ya didn't I!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Bee and I are headed for Mom and Dad's in a few minutes to stay a couple days. I'll try to get something posted about Monday's appt. from their house. Their computer chair is much more comfy to sit in than ours is. I tried to post about it once, but the computer froze up half-way thru and I lost it, and never did get back to it. I'll try tomorrow morning sometime hopefully. Later taters!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Prayer Request

Hey guys I have a friend with a need for your help in prayer. I talked to an old, very loved friend today and she's going thru a very tough time right now. I'm not gonna give specifics or names, but we really don't need any of that info to lift her up to the Thrown of Our Almighty Father. Hopefully she'll have answers of some kind to her "issues" in the next few days. I let y'all know later. Thanks.

This Is For Farmwife

This is a quote taken directly from Farmwife's recent post...

"Once upon a time I was one of the weirdos at a little Bible college in central Illinois. By weirdos I mean I was not preppy. I did not have big hair. I did not listen obsessively to DC Talk and Audio Adrenaline. I was not an early childhood major. I was not there in search of my M.R.S. degree. I was not your typical girly girl. I was a little strange by LCC standards. I liked alternative music (Pearl Jam, The Cure, The Pixies, Violent Femmes, Jane's Addiction, They Might Be Giants). I wore Doc Martins & had a hippy/skater/bohemian/goth (before we ever called it "goth") thing going on. I had long straight hair that I wore in odd ways (pigtails, braids, top knots). I wore dark lipstick. I was not really at home among the preachers' kids who seemed destined for ministry. After orientation I wasn't sure I belonged there at all. The only friends I really had were Swiss Miss and Grace's little brother."

I just have to mention that while I was at that same Bible college I was probably considered a preppy. I had brown hair all one length down to my waist and it was regulary rolled in hot rollers to make it prissy. My Smart Guy lived on the same floor as Audioadrenaline when they all attented Kentucky Christian College together in the early nineties and I attended an entire Audio Adrenaline concert at our little bible college back in the days before the were really big news. I was an Early Childhood major and pretty much attended said college to obtain my M.R.S. to a minister of some kind. Oh yah, did I mention that I obtained my M.R.S. just 18 months later. And while I wasn't crazy enough to jump off of a bridge, I was known to swim in the "Jordan River" when the drains in front of the girls dorm backed up and turned into a pool. And I was known to make-out with Smart Guy in the prayer room of the chapel, until I convinced myself that they probably had a spy camera somewhere in there watching everything. Other make-out spots.... behind restoration hall, cement bridge in middle of field between campus and married student housing and tennis courts next to girls' dorm ( the last two were invisible after dark). I was also know to have waded in the creek at the park on the edge of town with a group of friends up to our armpits, and one of the guys ended up with a slug where he didn't want it.

Yep, those were the days!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Good morning everyone! I woke up to several comments this morning. A few of them commenting about my strength. Trust me when I say I'm angry about this. I want to curl up in a little ball and never get out of bed, but that's not an option. I really would like to find an empty field somewhere and just stand in the middle of it and scream and roll around like a two year old having a temper tantrum. Last night I had a "mini-nervous-breakdown". I called my mom. She listened and asked what I wanted from her. She's coming over this morning and then going to my appointment with us. If I had my way, she'd just stay until this was completely over, but I know she's got a life to keep going too. She did manage to get out of jury duty this week because of this - she was glad about that.

I really want to throw something across the room and hear it hit the wall. Unfortunately all the stuff that would make a satisfying sound hitting the wall would also break hitting the wall and I'm sure I'd be sorry later.

So you see, I'm trying to keep on living, but I'm fried right now. I'm sick and tired of laying in bed. My ankles are now hurting and stiff too, another side effect of crohn's disease. So, basically everytime I walk, it hurts in two places. It sucks, it really sucks! Shidamelluck! (as Inkling said a few days ago, if your creative you'll figure it out... if your creative and offended by it, oh well, it's my hell right now and I have to express it somewhere! You guys seem perfect!) I love you. We drop Bee of at 12:45 with a church friend and then head to Indy for my 3:45 appt. Two hours sitting on my butt is not my idea of fun right now!

p.s. yes the medication is remicade, and I've been told it can be a miracle drug for crohn's disease. Many people go into complete remission within weeks on it. I really want it, but...

Saturday, April 21, 2007

I'm Home

I want you all to know that I'm home. I got home around 1:00 or so this afternoon. I've pretty much been sleeping, eating, or soaking in the tub since then. My pain meds have worn off until I take a few more, so I thought I'd post.

Like, Inkling said, they left the drains in this time and cut them flush with my skin, not pleasant, but necessary for now. Hopefully the specialist in Indi will be able to tell us more on Monday... until then, we simply wait it out and hope that everything stays stable. I do not want to sit on my butt for the almost two hours it's gonna take to get to the southside of Indi... ouch!

Goodnight everyone, I love y'all! Again, thanks for the prayers!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Update On Our Grace

Inkling here. Grace's mom just called me. Grace is out of surgery and doing as well as can be expected.

The stints are in, and will remain until at least Monday when she goes to see a specialist. She should be released from the hospital tomorrow.

Please pray for Grace. Pray for healing, pain management, emotional comfort, and blessing for her and her precious family.

One of us will keep you updated as we hear new information. I've also updated my blog as well.

Thank you for your prayers. Keep them coming. God tells us to boldly approach the throne of grace. I think we can do just that. After all, He's our Abba and the author of Grace - both the concept and the woman. Keep on heading to His throne on behalf of our Grace.
Hey guys, it' actually me this time, so it'll be short. I've seen the dr. They have moved my appt. with the Indi dr. up to Monday, and in the meantime they are taking me back in to do basically the same surgery as last time, except this time they are going to leave the drains in and cut them flush with my skin to keep it draining right until she can see me on Monday. Please pray that I don't focus on what I'll go through when they take those drains out again. Trust me when I say it's horrible.
Thanks for the love and prayers.

I got your gift today Farm Fairy on my way out the door to the dr. Thank you!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Just An Update

I just wanted to let you all know that I am sick again. Pain is back. Abcess is growing again. I have a fever. Smart Guy is typing this because I can not sit on my butt. I go to the doctors tomorrow - I hope that they will send me to Indy. They have washed their hands of me here. "I am their Problem Child" - nice words - huh ?

If I am put in the hospital - Inkling will give an update.

It is gonna be a rough weekend - Smart guy has a weekend trip with the confirmands - 2 hours away. The kids will be seperated in church members homes.

Good night. I love you guys.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

America Wakes Up

Well folks, America has finally come to it's senses - Sanjaya was finally voted off of American Idol. I can sleep a slightly happier person tonight. Thank you America, some of my faith has been restored in your judgement.


This day came too soon. I have on a pink top and need pink or white socks on my feet. None are clean. All I have are red and a wierd blue, so I pilfered a pair of white ones from another family member. How is it possible that I have on my eight year old boy's socks? Oh the horror! He's getting so big it's scarey.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A Prayer For A Shocked Country

Heavenly Father,
If you don't mind, I'd like to ask few questions this afternoon. Why do people do senseless things? Why are there presently over 30 families mourning the loss of loved ones due to the senseless and heinous act of one individual? Why are there several more people in hospital rooms wondering why he committed this senseless act and changed their lives forever? Why are there many people wandering around V.T.'s campus right now wondering why this horrible thing has happened? Why is it that suddenly people have to feel mourning for the dead and guilt at the same time because they are glad that it wasn't them? Why did this happen?

What caused that young man to decide that taking the lives of others and himself was the only answer he could come up with? Did someone walk by him on the street the day before that could have made a difference if they'd only made eye contact with him? If we had all prayed for our world a little harder could this have been prevented?

Lord, I find myself with a broken heart - for all those families full of hurt, anger, and unanswered questions - for the scared people of the world that are wondering if they or their families could be next - for that young man who apparently felt that his life had come to a place where this senseless act was the only way to get the answers he needed.

One day maybe I'll get the answers I want - but in the meantime, I'm gonna have to lean on you even harder. I'm gonna have to have more faith that you are in control even when it doesn't feel like it. I'm gonna have to hold tighter to my little ones, my hubby, my parents, my brother, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, my grandma, my best-friends, and all the friends that have come to mean so much to me, because I don't know when any of them won't be there to hold tight to tomorrow.

Father, please help us to love one another. Help us to reach out to those in need. Help us to recognize a need when it's sitting on the tip of our noses and then give us the strength to meet it. Help us not to judge to harshly for we never know when we may be sitting in the judgement chair. Help us to be like you.


Saturday, April 14, 2007

Snow, Noise, Make-Believe, and Babies

It's snowing. It's April 14 and it's snowing. I know I'm not in the south anymore, but it shouldn't be snowing on April 14. The flakes are huge, the size of quarters and bigger. None of it's sticking, for which I'm thankful. The weather says it should be 66 by the end of next week. I hope so, I'm ready for warm weather again, please.

Still no word about the meeting. You would really think someone would have contacted my hubby with something by now, but nope. Oh well!

The boys are here at Mom and Dad's now. The noise level in the house quadrupled when they got here from what it's been the rest of the week with just Bee. Wow! I missed them, I did not miss the arguing, fighting, competing, and loudless. I think Prophet actually missed me this week, he keeps coming over and giving me hugs and hanging all over me. While D.K. has always been a mama's boy, Prophet has not. He'd much rather have his daddy around, and he's been that way pretty much since birth. So the fact that he can't seem to be around me enough is kinda cool. I take hugs from my growing boys anyday. I know they'll probably go thru a "mom's not so cool" phase in a few years, so bring it on while they still want to.

As I'm sitting here typing, I am eating a plate of make-believe broccoli salad and a pink mug of Dora chicken noodle soup presented to me by Bee. She's very much into serving everyone right now and loves to make up different meals to "cook". At home she has all play dishes. Here at Grannie and Pa's house, she has a set a full-size hard plastic dishes, complete with all the matching flatware and all. She thinks she's bigstuff. She knows that I love broccolli salad, so I get a plate of it quite often, and everytime we discuss the special way that Mommy likes her broccolli salad... with chopped grapes instead of raisins. I can't stand raisins. Actually any dried fruit just makes me kinda go "oooooooooo". Nope, don't like them, not even in oatmeal cookies. I put fresh, chopped apples in those instead. Yummy! Okay so I'm making myself hungry about now. I guess it is almost dinner time. Probably should try to get something going for dinner.

Oh yah, I completely forgot to tell you guys... Cleanin'Cuz '75 is pregnant again.
They were sooooooooooo, totally not planning on any more babies. Their daughter June is five and the little boy Sonny is only 15 months. This has really thrown her for a loop. She's a planner and this wasn't planned. Please pray for her as she adjusts to this change in her life-plan. Some of the best things in life aren't planned out. My prayer for her is that she knows that she can do this. She can be a wonderful mother to three little people. I know she can.

Anyway, now to go do dinner. Snow, snow go away, don't come again another day (not until next December at least)!

Thursday, April 12, 2007


Smart Guy's part of the meeting is over. The letter I wrote was read and he is sitting in his office while they discuss everything. The sad part is that one of the men whom I consider to be a prominent member of the church questioned one of the facts in my letter. How is it possible that they don't know the facts? How sad and pathetic!

So now, we wait.

I Got A Package

Okay you wonderful blogger babes, who out there knows about the precious package I have waiting for me at home? Anyone, anyone? Whatever it is and whoever did it... I can't wait to see it tomorrow when Smart Guy brings the boys back over here after school for the weekend. Thank you!! I love you guys!

Please pray for me as I attempt to write a letter to the committee at church that has so messed this up... pray that I do it in a loving (ha) manner like my heart knows I should and don't just spew blame and profanity like my mind wants me to.

Last night's dinner at Red Lobster was great. I had the butterflied shrimp, baked potatoe, salad, and one roll like I'd planned and it tasted so good. They have the best tartar sauce of any place on the planet. I use that instead of cocktail sauce and even put it on my potatoe... wierd I know... my mom does it too and my grandma always did it too... I'm wierd by genetics what can I say!!! While we were at the restaurant, Bee told three different people that came to our table that "Jesus died on the cross, and my room is pink and purple." It was very funny... and people call me random. After we ate, Dad brought Bee back to the house and Mom and I went shopping. I bought 2 pairs of capris, one pair of jeans, and a cute little shirt and Mom bought me two pairs of shoes.... I'm gonna try to post a picture of the shoes later, they're awesome. By that time I was pooped (bad choice of words... we'll say I was exhausted) and hurting so we climbed in the van and came home. It was nice to be out in public again.

Please pray for Smart Guy as he heads to that committe meeting tonight... it won't be easy!! Love you guys!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

One Day At a Time

Hey there everyone! It's been a few days so I thought I'd post a little. I'm at Mom and Dad's house... have been since Sunday. I needed to get out of the walls of my house and I needed my mom. She's got a mom threatening premature labor so she couldn't come to me, so I came to her. Bee's here with me and the boys are at home with Smart Guy so they can go to school. Plan's are to go home tomorrow sometime, but we'll see what happens. I'm doing better as I finished the antibiotics on Monday evening. When I didn't take a dose in the morning yesterday, I was amazed how much better I felt by lunchtime... I wasn't nauseous, my appetite came back, and I actually drug myself off the couch. Mom and I took Bee over to the state park nearby, played on the playground, threw rocks in a lake, saw some geese, and walked around a little. I was tired after, but the fresh air was awesome.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes guys, wether here or on your blogs... once again I say this whole extended cyber-blog family thing is amazing. Mom, Dad, Bee, and I are all going to Red Lobster for dinner tonight.. my favorite. I'm getting butterflied-shrimp, baked potatoe, and a salad and I'm going to enjoy it... just not all of it or I'll end up sick, so I'm sharing with Bee. Then Dad is going to bring Bee back home and Mom and I are gonna go shopping for new pants and new shoes... no I never have bought new shoes since my rant several weeks ago about a haircut vs. shoes... so tonight Mom's getting them for my b-day.

Well, I must go get ready to leave for dinner... I love all you guys... thanks so much for all the love and prayers the past few weeks... keep 'em going if you don't mind, I'm still dealing with alot of fear that it'll all happen again. I'm working very hard to stay positive, live in today and not fear tomorrow.... One day at a time..... huh, easier said than done.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Don't worry, you didn't miss my birthday... it's not until next Wednesday! I'll be 33!!

I'm a mess tonight.... between thinking about the church junk, the emotional part of what just happened to me and a horrible case of hormones I now I have a headache from crying....


Well, the boys needed haircuts so they look decent on Easter morning and I'm not up to doing it, so Smart Guy has taken them for their first professional haircut in their lives. I can't wait to see what they look like when they get back... could be interesting. I did make a quick trip to Wally World yesterday to get them new outfits for tomorrow morning. Bee already had her dress.

I got a birthday package from my in-laws today containing 6 individually wrapped presents. I felt like a kid. It was cool. I sat on my bed and relished opening every one of them while no one else was here to ask to help.

My mom paid someone to come clean my house today.

I still don't want to eat anything... ick... no appetite...

Note to everyone.... those Icebreakers sours things that have a warning on the back of the container to be careful because the sour stuff in them will irritate your mouth, is serious. My tongue feels so wierd right now, but they sure are good!!

So long! BTW... thanks for all the prayers!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Getting Better

Hey guys! Just thought I'd check in real fast while still balancing on one butt-cheek! I'm doing better everyday. I actually did a few things around the house today... don't bother telling me to take it easy, because I am. I already have a good mother, I don't need 10 more of ya, just be my friends. Trust me when I say I'm not overdoing it. Smart Guy has brought me breakfast and lunch in bed everyday since Saturday. He's really stepped up and taken over. He's awesome!

My biggest issue right now is how the drugs are making me feel. Yuck. They make me tired and they leave a constant HORRIBLE taste in my mouth that completely ruins my appetite, but I force myself to eat so I can my strength back up. The only things that sound good to me are tart, fruity flavored things.... popsicles, grape pop, jello, slurpies... all really bad for you stuff, but I figure if it makes me feel better then go for it.

Be back sometime in the next few days! I have a dr. appt. on Friday afternoon. I love you all! Hugs to you all! Goodnight!