Wow, What a Day!

I have a headache. This is what happens to this brown-haired, brown-eyed girl when she spends part of every waking hour in a day crying to some degree or another. Today has been a tough one in a couple different ways. First it was the boys last day of school. While this seems like a normal every year thing that shouldn't evoke emotions in a normally stable person, this year is different...

We are once again moving. This was the last day the boys will ever attend school in that building. The feelings of guilt inside me are eating me alive. Prophet cried a few different times during the day as he said goodbye to his friends. D.K. never did cry, which is funny because he's normally the dramatic one of the two of them. I made sure they were both able to say goodbye and hug their teachers. I took about 80 pictures of them and their friends, the school building, their classrooms, the outside of the building, and the playground to put together an album representing this year of their lives. I am so heartbroken for them. They are worried they won't make friends at their new school. Every teacher that I've talked to at the school during the last few days has been very encouraging, saying how well-adjusted our boys are and that they know they'll adjust easy in a new school because they adjusted so easily here. That makes me feel better. After school when we were all standing in the hallway saying our goodbyes and crying, the vice-principal came over and hugged the boys and I and told me that she moved 11 times growing up and went to almost as many schools. I asked if she was an army brat and she told me that she's a minister's kid. She seems normal enough. Maybe there's hope that this won't effect them as much as I'm afraid it will. Both the boys were excited about the fact that they had something in common with her. They both talk about her all the time and think she's cool.

So yes I'm finally telling the world our big knews. No, I'm not pregnant. The insurance issues with our current church were not able to be resolved. We were promised group insurance that would cover me and my preexsisting conditions starting in January when the church conference insurance opened up for new employees, even given quotes on how much our 40% of the cost would be. They found private policies to cover us in the six or so months before that. The kids and Smart Guy had Blue Cross Blue Shield policies, but with Crohns, private insurance companies blacklist you. We did find one company that would take me, but it's a lousy policy and has no prescription coverage. Starting this past January, we all were supposed to be moved to the church conference group policy and by HIPPA laws they have to cover my preexsisting conditions. In December, the "powers that be" at the church, suddenly decided that it would cost the church too much money to pay for it and backed out of their promise for the group insurance. After much prayer and pleading with them, they have done nothing to help us out at all. We have been thru a colonoscopy,three surgeries, three hospitilizations, numerous dr. visits, lots of lab work, and a ton of prescription meds with lousy insurance coverage and no prescription coverage at all. The committee (SPRC) decided last week that they believe that they have met their committment to us regarding insurance and that we have not done our job to make sure that I'm getting everything covered (ex. calling all the drug companies to get free drugs so they don't have to feel guilty about the fact that they backed out of their promise to us). We have indeed called the companies and have indeed been approved for one of the most expensive drugs when I'm ready. They don't know this because they have not asked about it and have just accused us of not doing anything for ourselves. They have told us that we have to recognize the fact that insurance doesn't cover everything and that we all have to be increasingly resposible for more and more of our own medical costs. DUH! We are just now coming out of a horrible debt because almost ten years ago when our precious oldest child was born, insurance didn't cover everything. We know that already, we aren't stupid! They told us that it is "too premature" to ask for or to expect any help from the church because we don't know what all the bills will total after they all go thru the insurance. Pardon me, but I thought that the job of the local church was to step-up and help ease the burden when there was a family known to have an incredible need. While the people of the church have brought many, many wonderful and very appreciated meals, not a single person has addressed the financial aspect of any of this. The fact of the matter is this.... we have recieved checks from people who don't even personally know us, churches ten hours from here that held spaghetti dinners in our name, family members, church friends from Alabama, a mens' prayer group that met in OH one morning and had us on their prayer list, decided they needed to collect money to send to us. The very first check we recieved was from Farm Fairy. She has only known me since November and never actually met me. We've never even been fortunate enough to hug one another, yet she saw a need in someone she had come to love and immediately jumped on it. I'm not by any means asking for or saying that I expect money from anyone, don't misinterpret that. I'm merely saying that while many others that aren't even around us on a daily basis saw and see the need and have very lovingly given of the little that some of them have, our own church somehow has made us feel like by asking them to come up with a solution to this mess that's been caused by their lack of committment to a promise they made, that we are being somehow greedy. They very much made us feel that we were irresponsible and didn't do our part. This is simply not true. They did not keep their promise. This is not a matter of opinion or something to be decided and discussed. We were given a promise, and they did not keep it. This is a yes/no thing. They either provided the insurance or they didn't... they didn't.

After weeks of not keeping us informed about anything be discussed concerning our family, two SPRC members asked Smart Guy if he had five minutes to spare on Sunday morning to inform him of their decision that they felt they had met their committment to us. As if Sunday mornings aren't busy enough. For anyone reading this that may want to discuss a business matter with a church staff person...do it sometime other than a Sunday morning. That morning is already busy with Sunday school classes being taught, helping with the worship service and parents wanting info about upcoming trips and such. Then if they can shut down their minds long enough, they try to get in some meaningful worship. I was appalled that they did it and when I asked them why it was done that way, the head of SPRC told me that because he owns his own business that he had a lot of time away from his family during the week and didn't want to take away anymore from them. I let him know that it was a very, very poor decision on his part. He actually did apologize, but that doesn't mean we'll ever get that Sunday morning worship time back.

After they told him that they had decided they had met their commitment to us, Smart Guy resigned on the spot, two days earlier than planned. Their first question to him was "how will you support your family?" Suddenly they cared. He took great delight in telling them that he already had another position with full medical coverage.

For those of you that haven't recieved an email or forward from me in the last few weeks, we have found another position. The Lord provided us with a new ministry when we needed it. I have come to accept it. I can feel the prayers that have gone up from many of you in the last few weeks as this has been occuring. Thank you. This new job has about the same base salary, but they pay for all the insurance (no 60/40). It's group insurance from the very first hour he begins working for them. This particular denomination has all of it's staff in the entire country under the same policy making it easier for them to keep down costs. What a concept,why don't the rest of the denominations follow suit?

So in one month we will be moving to OH to start a new chapter in our lives. We've starting packing. I do a little at a time and rest. I get tired quick. Smart Guy has been working on getting the garage packed up. The kids have been told and really took it pretty well.

The church staff that hadn't figured it out yet, were told today at the staff meeting. Then at 3:00 this afternoon, two members of SPRC who had scheduled a meeting with Smart Guy to discuss the logistics of how to tell the church. They walked in and told him that his resignation is effective immediately (as in today) and asked for his keys. WHAT? He has to clean out his office during office hours and is supposed to leave no questions asked or answered. He's supposed to go to church camp with a big group of kids and youth staff on Friday. He's the youth pastor, he's the one that knows what going on and he's not supposed to go. How does it make sense to leave your youth sponsors and kids high and dry with no explanation? It's not happening. He's going on that trip. He'll probably drive behind the bus and follow them down so he can be there. It's not fair to the kids not to be able to say goodbye. It's also not fair to my husband who loves them and had no plans to leave them. He's continued planning for next fall and getting everything in line, just hoping that maybe by some chance things would fall into place. I so wish they had.

Our phone rang off the hook this afternoon as word got out amongst the staff and a few others that SPRC had pulled this premature telling him just to get out as if he's in the wrong. We had one of youth sponsors over here for awhile this evening letting us vent. Everyone is on our side and supporting us. This could unfortunately cause a big problem in the church as people begin asking why we are leaving/have left. Most people (probably 99%) in the church have no knowledge that there is a problem at all as I've only shared with three friends. Although SPRC apparently thinks I was running my mouth because they had our senior pastor tell Smart Guy to make me control myself and not talk about the issue with anyone or he would be fired. If it had been shared with the rest of the church, I feel very strongly that the problem could have been resolved and we wouldn't be leaving to start a new life... AGAIN.

BUT, God has provided a new ministry at a time when we needed it with benefits that we need. We are thankful for that. Now I have to work on building the road towards forgiving this very small group of people responsible for this. Thanks for your prayers, keep 'em coming, we still need them.

p.s. I went to my surgeon for another follow-up yesterday. We went to the right place this time. She said I look great. The setons are doing their job and I'll be able to start the good meds soon. Once again, thanks for all you prayers.
p.s.s. for those couple of you at church that read this and don't about any of this yet, (although you had to know it was a possibility) I apologize. I've waited long enough and had to post it. I love you guys and hate that this is happening.