One Year Ago Today.... We Survived

One year ago today we moved to this place we've called home for the last 365 days. When we left Birmingham, AL that morning with the moving van and our Rendevous holding all of our earthly possessions and our precious children, we had no idea what the next year would be like. Although by 8:00 that evening I could have made a pretty good prediction. I've told the story before, but here it goes again if you haven't heard.

We were driving north on I65 just south of Indianapolis around 8:00 in the evening. We'd been on the road since that morning sometime. We were almost to our new home and I was pumped. I couldn't wait to get there. As I was driving along I noticed a car in the southbound lane cross over into the lane next him and push the van into the center ditch. I was gonna pull-off when I got past the wreck and be a witness/make sure everyone was okay, but before I could do that I realized that the car was headed right for me. There was absolutely nothing I could do to prevent it from happening. I t-boned the guy while I was doing 70 mph (the speed limit) down in the interstate. We, the kids and I, flipped our brand-new Rendevouz three times and landed upside down in the outside ditch with the car that hit us. The car that had, ten seconds earlier, been traveling south on the opposite side of the interstate. I remember the spinning, the pop spilling, my children screaming, the glass breaking, the horrific impact, the pain, not being able to open my jaw, being backwards in my seat despite my seat belt, my hands bleeding from pushing myself out my window to be able to see my children in the backseat, my children crying that they were upside down, not wanting to see what my children looked like, desparately wanting to get to my children to see what they looked like, the blood all over D.K. from his bloody nose, the passersby who stopped to help and couldn't believe that I was not only alive but had climbed out of the car by myself, the three separate strangers who each took one of my children and loved them while I wasn't able to because of my injuries, the sirens, the backed up traffic, the makeshift slings put on my boys by a nurse who happened to witness the wreck, the immediate hatred I felt towards the young man who did it, the anger I felt towards the paramedics who didn't even stop to look at my children and went straight to the guy who had caused the wreck and then got angry with me when I voiced my anger, the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when the nurse came in to tell me that while Prophet and Bee had been brought to the same hospital I was in, D.K. was sent to Riley because he was having trouble breathing in the ambulance, calling my mom and dad to tell them, calling them again to tell them to get to Riley as fast as they could because D.K. was completely alone, the people from our new church that showed up to bring me things that I needed and just to love us, the two men who drove their cars back out the moving van holding all of our possesions that was left on the side of the interstate, the family who took Prophet, Bee, and Smart Guy home with them when Prophet and Bee were released and I wasn't, my dad coming in to see me, my mom coming later when dad was able to get back over to be with D.K. so mom could leave, the nurse who said I shouldn't be mad at the young man who fell asleep behind the wheel because everyone has fallen asleep behind the wheel at sometime, the cop who told me that the guy wouldn't get even a ticket, my mom getting me a sandwich from a sandwich shop so I wouldn't have to eat the hospital's food, the pain that day and for many, many days and weeks following, the fear that I'd never be pain free again, the meals that were brought by members of our new church, the house that was unpacked by church members, the beds that were put together by church members, the cards that were sent by everyone, the gameboy that was loned to my boys so they'd sit still and let their broken collar-bones heal, people constantly asking how we were doing, a church that really stepped up and helped us out when we really needed it...

I can't believe it's been a year. I've forgiven the guy... still think what he did was irresponsible and stupid... it could have been prevented. But for myself I had to forgive him. We finally settled all the financial stuff pertaining to the wreck a couple months ago. That's done and I don't have to think about it anymore.

So on this day I want to use this event in our lives to remind everyone how important carseats and booster seats are for your precious little people. Boosters should be used until your children are 4'9" according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration... even if your state does not have a law saying so. Why would you chance it? Likewise, the NHTSA also advises that smaller children should be in a five-point harness until they are 40 pounds. I know the boosters that many carseat companies sell have lower weights on them, but the fact of the matter is this... we had a carseat expert speak to us at Riley Children's Hospital the day after the wreck, and she told us very bluntly that if we had moved Bee into a booster seat like we had thought about (because according to the booster seat boxes she was big enough), she would probably be dead. In a rollover like we had, she would have been too small for the booster to hold her in. Why would anyone want to take that risk? I don't get it. Keep them in those five-point harnesses until they are 40 pounds, please. Also please install them tight enough that they don't move back and forth. I actually sit with both my knees in the seat and tighten the belt while all my weight is in it. And make sure that the harness straps are at or above your child's shoulders if they are big enough to ride forward facing. The straps should never go behind a forward riders shoulders. That plastic clip on their chest is also important. It positions the harnesses properly. It keeps the straps on their shoulders and prevents them from flying forward in a crash. If it's not there, or if it down to low, your child will simply fly foward. Try putting your child in the seat, buckle it, but don't put clip at armpit height, now push your childs shoulders forward to see what will happen. Without the clip, there's nothing there to stop them. The clip is very important. It should always be at armpit height. Always make sure the harness straps are pulled tight or they won't do any good. Adjust them everytime you put your child in the seat.

Okay, I've said my peace. Look it up for yourself if you want to. Carseat ignorance is one of those things that I have no patience with. There is no excuse in this day and age to have the wrong carseat or have it improperly installed in your car. Use it right and you could save your little one's life!