I looked up "integrity" on Meriam-Webster online and here's what it said.
Integrity - firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: incorruptibility. synonym: honesty
Honesty - fairness and straighforwardness of conduct. synonym: integrity
Then under honesty it says "integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or plege.
Recently I have recieved two phone calls. First from Ruby and then awhile later from Inkling. They were both concerning the same matter and they both needed to simply "talk it out" instead of mulling it around in their heads. I was the one who was chosen for both these phone calls. My problem is that I can be a rather judgemental little b**** at times. I listened and then gave my opinion on the matter, even though it hadn't been asked for. I apologize for this guys!! My opinion is strong because this matter touches a very sensitive fear of mine and therefore in my eyes makes it one of the unpardonable sins... to me... thankfully not to God.
For those of you that read Inklings post earlier today, this is gonna sound like I'm skirting the subject because I am, but just bare with me. Both Inkling and Ruby told me that back in the day the person who has done this heinous thing was a "person of integrity". Inkling went as far as to say that this person had as much integrity as H.D., which for Inkling is the highest standard there is. I'm glad I'm not the Judge because I'm struggling with this. How is it possible for someone who has such amazingly high integrity to do something so incredibly unbelievable. I simply don't get it!! I can't figure it out!! The more I've thought about the more confused I've gotten. Inkling and Ruby are both forgiving and gracious. I on the other hand don't even know this person and I can't go there right now.
I was talking to my mom earlier and she presented me with some things to think about, which is not unusual. Inkling'll tell ya, Mom is good at making you see the other side of an issue. I'm just convinced that this person is "bad". After all, how can someone who did something so awful have any good in them. So in my judgemental, it's black or white mind, this person is either good or their bad. My Mom said to me " Everything's not - either/or". Meaning that just because this person did something that isn't good, doesn't make them a bad person. She actually went as far as to say this person is a "person of integrity" because they turned themself in before they were caught doing this thing. She used the example of someone who did some horrible things to her growing up, things that have caused alot of heartache and trauma for my mom, but this same person was an amazing person and influence in my life. She wasn't all bad. I guess I get it in one part of my brain, but the other part still hasn't wrapped it fingers around it yet!!
All I know, is that right now, I'm not feeling like a "person of integrity". I'm feeling judgemental and nasty. What's wierd is that this doesn't even involve me, but it's become such a problem in our society, that it seems like it's infiltrating my little corner of the world and it has got to stop - NOW!!
I don't wanna make this about myself, it's so not. There's many families out there in our world that are suffering and struggling because of this problem and one's similar to it!! I wish there was a way we could fix it, but alas only God can take someone's heart and transform it. We can all pray. Let's pray that there is healing in this particular family and in all the others that have been hurt and separated by similar things. My heart aches for them, the husbands, the wives, the children...
Well, it's time to close up shop for the night!! 'til tommorrow, goodnight!!
4 comments:
Best Friend, thanks for sharing what's been going on in your thoughts the past couple of days. Tell you mom I think she's wonderful and has my thanks. =)
After talking it over more with Henry David, I'm further convinced (and convicted) to pray for my husband, my dad, and my brothers. So often we blame the whole category of men, without giving credence to the role women play. We as a gender can be fairly conniving, manipulative, and appear to be other than what we are. I don't like to admit that, but it's out there - not for every woman, but for some (I can say this, because I've been that way). Basically, I'm convinced to stop placing blame and start living on my knees. These guys come up against so much - way more than we can imagine or fully comprehend - in terms of media (tv, computer, radio, print ads, billboards), what they hear at work (take my Henry David for example, not necessarily Smart Guy), and what they see (even at church!!!!!!!!). For them to be strong and live with integrity throughout their lives involves choice after choice, some serious wrestling, and a whole lot of clinging to God. They can't do it alone. We've got to be there, praying for them primarily, and graciously educating the younger generation of girls what it means to be a woman of integrity. (How that generation is already being educated makes me want to vomit. Something is very wrong when there are ten year olds out there trying to be sexy.) We, as wives, have a powerful role to play in terms of being a wife who is faithful in prayer and a wife who can build up her husband in terms of respect and encouragement. We have to know that even the best of men can fail and fall in one way or another. That even includes our beloveds. It's only through divine means that they don't. Hope this makes sense.
I think you're on the right track, and something tells me this is going to be used in your life for something amazing. I can't quite find the right words at the moment, but will think on it and call you....
sending you oodles of hugs this morning....
it is heartbreaking when these things happen. without knowing all the details, i get it now. yes, we wives must be especially diligent in prayer. God has really been convicting me of my responsibilities lately, especially with a little one around.
Praying for you guys and those who are involved directly...
Ruby here -
No offense taken here as I know you see this in a different light than Inkling and myself. It is your opinion and you are entitled to it. Thank you for your prayers and friendship during this time. Prayers for Inking and I and prayers for all families involved in this situation. Thank you my dear friend!
Smiles and Hugs
p.s. Hope you have a GREAT 1st day tomorrow! :)
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